The chauffeur. At one point, an item of luxury, the norm of the affluent. Today a lost art in a sea of Black Lincoln Town cars and Chevy Suburban’s shuttling any old nobody from the airport into the metropolis of their choice. These luxo barges of the past, found mostly clogging up our roads, dawdling in the left lane and in no real hurry are as close as we can get to a modern day chauffeur. Or are they? What if I was to tell you that you could get to your destination, rested, relaxed, pampered and 15 minutes early? Enter the world of the 2014 Mercedes Benz S63 AMG.
You might ask; well if I’m driving the car, how am I being chauffeured? Two words: Distronic Plus. This adaptive cruise control system sets the speed of your vehicle to that of the vehicle you are following, and maintains that speed, even if traffic slows or comes to a stop. All you do is set it, and sink back into your heated or cooled 6-way full body massage and enjoy the leather panel heating keeping the touch points of your body soothingly warm. With Burmester audio providing acoustic harmony in the background, the car seemingly driving itself, and your body in a state of relaxation attune to a Zen Buddhist there’s not much left for you to do.
But a good chauffeur follows to everything you ask of them. There are those days, where there is no time. Where late was 5 minutes ago. Where everything you have ever worked for hangs in the balance. With 577 Horsepower and 664 Ft lbs of torque being sent to the 4-Matic All-Wheel drive system, burry the throttle, and the systems that were allowing you to relax a second ago, are now programmed into AMG attack mode to keep you in total control. 0-60 mph comes up in a face sucking 3.9 seconds, with a quarter mile time of 12.1 Seconds at 115 mph will confuse anyone at your local drag strip.
Power through the pack, make up that 15 minutes you didn’t have, and pull into the right lane to settle back into the S class making the decisions for you again like a good chauffer should. That is what the S63 is all about. We may be in an era where luxuries such as this will never be the way they once were. Where someone answers to your every request in the most diligent and exigent way possible. Where “step on it I am late” is actually met with the thrust of a Saturn 5 rocket, and not “Sorry Sir I am not allowed to speed, there is a camera in this car”. The 2014 S63 AMG. The chauffeur of the past, for the world of the present.
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