The outside temperature gauge reads 39 degrees Celsius. The hot desert sun beats down onto the asphalt with the only intent to distort and weather it back to the organic roots from which it was formed. You glance down at the digital speedometer before you. The wide open road ahead, desolate of any terrestrial life appears almost Martian. The idea that an aspiring Highway Patrol Officer may be hiding in wait is quickly scrubbed away with a view of the infinity ahead. Blasting west, finally leaving the traffic chaos that is Phoenix at 10 am, you start to sample the amenities the 2014 Mercedes S550 provides. Heated seats, steering wheel, and touch surfaces are saved for the return to the frigid wasteland that is a Vancouver winter, but what’s left is a plenty. Ventilated seats pull air for 4 minutes before blowing air, cooling your sweaty back quicker. Combine this with the beautifully crafted Nappa leather interior, automatically perfumed air conditioning, soothingly soft ambient lighting, and one of the available massage settings, melting into the rest of the S-Class motoring experience is as easy as closing one of its soft close doors.
With the 4.7 Litre Twin Turbo V8 connected to a 7 speed automatic transmission churning away behind the scenes, 455 Hp is effortlessly sent to the rear wheels propelling this posh studio apartment on wheels to 60 Mph in 4.9 seconds. The quarter mile whisks by in an impressive 13.4 seconds at 108 Mph.
Performance is only 10 per cent of what makes an S-Class, so let’s get back to the good stuff. You ease off the accelerator, a small town coming into your view. The imperfections of civilization appear to be strewn at random throughout the road. The car unquestionably complies with the comfort one would expect from a car of this caliber. Suddenly, there it is: a bump you didn’t see. You clench for the impending bang that is about to be shot through your spine. Mercedes Magic Body Control, however, thinks otherwise. With cameras mounted in the vehicle’s windshield that scan the road ahead for protruding bumps, the car has seen what you have not. The suspension is loosened to absorb the impending jolt, and the car seamlessly delivers the impression that there was no bump at all. Magic, indeed.
Quite the treat for you, but even more so your rear seat passengers enjoying their own little S-class world. With the in flight movie of their choice via the provided HD TV screens and Bluetooth headphones, heated and ventilated seats, and the light of the sky at the control of their fingertips, privacy shades surrounding them, your passengers will be isolated from any feeling that speed conveys. Only when they view the speedometer, the realization of the engineering masterpiece that contains them will be basking in the sunlight that bathes the world outside its leather clad doors. Top this German ice cream Sundae of luxury off with a panoramic moon roof, and AMG Sport body work, and there you have it. The only way to cross a vast area of unforgiving loneliness and desolation, as quickly as you can. Save the plane ticket. Take the road less traveled. Your S-class awaits you.
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